I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything but life got in the way and I had decided that it probably only makes sense to write when I have the urge because if I force it then only crap is produced.
Anyway, why the sad face? Well, when I started my ASL I class my professor informed us that once a month people from the Deaf community commune at a particular mall for a few hours and students often gather around to observe. My professor knows some of these people and said that they are accustomed to having students around.
I decided to try it yesterday. I went with my children and sat down at the food court where I saw the group signing to each other. I was soooo nervous. I felt so out-of-place and rude for just sitting there and not participating. They were signing so fast and I couldn’t catch up with all of their conversations. I sent a text to my professor and said that I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t sure whether to approach them or just keep sitting and virtually continuing to eavesdrop on them. She assured me that they were used to it and that it was ok to watch.
After about an hour of watching and getting nauseated from being so nervous, a gentleman approached me and asked if I was learning. We started our conversation which I thought would be great but unfortunately, as I expected, it was still very difficult for me to communicate with him. I was just so nervous that I couldn’t understand what he was saying at times and then felt embarrassed when he would have to slow down for me. I don’t want anyone to have to accommodate me. I feel like it’s not fair for him to have to modify his “speech” for me.
I know it probably sounds like stupid insecurities but I just felt uncomfortable. Though as inadequate as I felt, I will use this experience to fuel my desires to practice more often and really master this language because I truly desire to serve this community and make friends as well. On the bright side, the gentleman provided me with some information on where I may be able to find more events like this and get more involved.
Started off kinda sappy and ended up motivated. I WILL be an interpreter.
P.S. Sorry for the long wait. I will be back more often, I promise. 🙂